Archive for July, 2004

A Long Day’s Journey Into Bobby Knight

My ode to Brian Dennehy.

Cocooned in moon basalt
A visual gestalt…
Don Ameche in a vault
And it was all Willy Lomans Fault.
From Freddy Prinze Junior’s Summer Catch,
Drinking shots down the hatch
We presumed your innocence-
thats where we detached.

A Legal Eagle’s journey, yes
Into Threes Company perhaps
That’s where you collapsed
Your career unwraps
While my toe taps…
for you next great role
As a Capulet or was that a trap you set
to lure me into the Fighting Fitzgeralds?

If analogies weren’t so S A T
I’d say just between YOU And ME,
Mr. Dennehey
That your roles are to you like sick days are to me-
Sometimes You just have to Phone Them In…
You put up a good fight,
Mr. Bobby Knight,
In your season on the brink
And a smile and a wink
to make us all think
That you did not stink
In Project Greenlight–
This is what we call

A Long Days Journey Into Bobby Knight.

My life is like a really anal retentive Corona commercial

If someone asks me if I am uptight or laid back, I have no idea what to answer. Depends on the situation? I’m not afraid of obvious things like getting attacked while I’m walking alone at midnight, yet when I want tell my boss I’m taking a day off my stomach will be in knots. I don’t understand me sometimes. Continue reading

Misty Watercolor Memories

I follow pop culture pretty closely. Sometimes I can feel my brain rotting from too much Access Hollywood and In Touch Magazine because those are definitely beyond “following” and more along the lines of
I live for seeing what Gwyneth wears to yoga”. I don’t really have to see the lists of every unconventional celebrity baby name that was given this past year with photos, the name of the Hollywood obstetrician that delivered them and what gifts good friend Kathy Najimy bought to welcome it to this world. It’s safe to say I measure my life in pop culture. Continue reading

Stuff I Have Done For Free Food

I am not so so poor that I’m going to go hungry anytime soon, but when I know there’s going to be an event with free food involved, a voice in my head says “regardless of who you’re with and what you’re doing, you must attend”. So what have I done for free food?
*Attended Bergdorf Goodman’s Beauty Days. Men who wear lipstick, women who weigh 9 pounds, Mini Hamburgers, Hot Dogs and Cosmos, you guys!
*Pretended I was interested in joining college clubs. Introductory Meetings always included bribes of pizza. I still get mail from the Alumni-Parent Admission Committee. Sometimes there are repercussions to that free calzone.
*Took a granola bar from a stranger the other day because she was handing them out as a plea for people to join her church in my neighborhood. Sure she was a stranger but I ate it and I’m still here aren’t I?? *Shopped at Price Club/CostCo/BJs. Samples samples samples!
*Weddings weddings weddings!
*Brutally boring company wide office meetings means enticing us with sandwiches and assorted other treats. Pass the pesto pasta salad!
*Running the Corporate Challenge. I’d do it for the free Power Bar at the finish line, but we also get taken out for dinner! You might think running 3.5 miles in 90 degree weather with people I don’t like is a bit much for some eggplant parm and antipasto, but you are not me.

It’s A Little Childish and Stupid, But Then Again, So Is High School

I was eleven when my sister graduated from high school. To me she had lived at the most perfect time in the history of high school, right when every great John Hughes movie came out. Everyone still had big hair, fringe suede jackets and French rolled pants and even I, a sixth grader, knew which seniors threw the best parties and knew when their parents were out of town. I would study my sister’s yearbook, the one she was editor-in-chief of, and could tell you who won best dressed, all the members of the baseball team and that Nathan Manley;s parents were divorced and therefore bought two spaces at the back of the book to congratulate him, one reading “Love, Mom and Jim” the other “Love, Dad and Sheryl”. Continue reading

Still Wishing I worked at the New York Post

I think two of my favorite REAL headlines are “Fairy Godfather” about a murdered gay mafioso (NY Post) and “Marky Mark and the Monkey Bunch”, an article about the premiere of Planet of the Apes (Boston Herald). But I still have a few more of my own. And since the odds of these things happening are slim, I have included headlines about people who have already died.

Maude Save the Queen – Bea Arthur rescues Nathan Lane from burning nightclub
Lemmon Pledge – Jack Lemmon seen showing allegiance to his flag and/or rushing a fraternity.
Hall and Oats – Days of Our Lives star Dierdre Hall and old dude Wilfred Brimley reunite for “Our House” special
Ginger Ail- Gilligan star Tina Louise falls ill
Jewel of Denial – Alaskan singer who lived in a van sees no problem with teeth
Schwimming to Cambodia – Friends star dedicates memorial statue to Spalding Gray
Best Bi – Former Beatle comes out of the closet
Halle-Burton – Catwoman and “Big Fish” Director team up for new project.

NObody tells LIZ what to do!

I do not follow directions. I poo-poo serving suggestions and recommended daily allowances, I never follow recipes exactly because I don’t like to measure things out, and I would not make it as an engineer because I realize I don’t really care about things like structural integrity or things looking “even”. I think my favorite phrase is “good enough”. Meaning “I put some, but not all, the effort I could have into that endeavor”. Continue reading