The following is one of my first posts from when I started this blog. I was really excited to start a blog and I talked it up quite a bit, to the point where I emailed a friend of mine who had moved away and had a baby and was like “Wow, you’ve been busy! But so have I, check out http://www.whoisliz.com/blog!”. Sadly, I was serious, and also sadly, she has not written back. That was July. Of 2004. I told a guy I worked with that I started a blog and he emailed me to tell me he thought the tone was a little angry (this was after two posts) and I should take it down a notch. Maybe in hindsight he was right because these entries straddle fact and fiction, only not very clearly and also not in a way that makes the reader, like, comfortable. Or maybe he just couldn’t handle my hot writing heat.
What do I hate more than people who say they don’t own televisions? Um, how about nothing? What are they trying to prove anyway, some kind of intellectual superiority? An inclination toward yoga and Eastern religions? I think what I hate most is the actual way they say they don’t own a television. Like, oh look, I’m so high and mighty that I only care about real art and theatre and reading. Well I have news for these people, TV is art! Or inspiration for art at the very least. You don’t get your own leaflet of illustrated poems about celebrities published if you’re not an artist, ok? And, oh hey, look at me, that’s just what I did. So suck on my circulation that reaches 3 whole boroughs, you self-righteous creeps. I’m getting paid to be creative, unlike those people who complain about their day jobs and wish they had it this good. Thank God for DVR is all I have to say (screw TiVo by the way – digital video recording is so superior and I didn’t have to sign my life away to get it. You people who are the first ones to buy anything technologically advanced also make me sick. You think, hey look at me I have something my poorer friends don’t have, be jealous of me! And then your poorer friends wait it out and get a better, cheaper version. HAHAHAHA. Eat it, Ipod owners of 2001! 5GB of memory, I laugh in your face! Oh, and where’s that LaserDisc Player now?) Anyway, who knew that DVR-ing Cocoon on HBO2 would be so lucrative? I owe Brian Dennehy big time for the opus I created in his honor, “A Long Day’s Journey into Bobby Knight”. The talent lies within but the inspiration is all Time Warner, baby. Who says pop culture is brain candy and a waste of time? Not me that’s for sure. A couplet is a couplet, whether you’re talking pony rides and that kind of nineteenth century shiz or the Game Show Network so don’t tell me I don’t know my craft. At least my allergies don’t act up when I watch Lingo, I can’t say the same for old timey pony rides. Why do you think all those old artists killed themselves? They were so bored with their work probably, and they obviously didn’t have the opportunity to watch the Demi Moore Two-For-One Movies on Demand. Ghost + Disclosure? Select NOW.