If I worked at the New York Post

I have always thought I would make a good headline writer at the New York Post. I have the cringe inducing ability to create bad puns and I love current events, it’s really a match made in heaven. My problem is that I create the headlines and wait for the stories to happen. Fingers crossed that one of them actually does, ‘cause you heard it here first…

“Bridge Over Troubled Walters” ABC’s host of ‘The View’ has mental breakdown (and/or dental work, perhaps)
“Rowlands with the Homies” Aging star of ‘The Notebook’ becomes Goodwill Ambassador to South Central L.A.
“Penn and Teller” Sean has affair with bank employee
“Dolly’s Llama” Dollywood opens petting zoo
“Rudy Can’t Fail” Keshia Knight Pulliam takes bar exam
“Beast Meets West” Ron Pearlman and former Batman TV Star become unlikely friends
“Nicholas Caged” Mall Santa arrested for child porn/petty theft/war crimes/whatever
“The Gourds Must Be Crazy” Pumpkinfest gets out of hand
“Who’s the Boss?” Bruce Springsteen hit on head, becomes amnesiac
“Phish-Styx” Hippie band burns in hell, mourners twirl with grief….OR…Jam band and hard rockers tour together…(But we all know more people would prefer that first situation.)

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