Stuff I Have Done For Free Food

I am not so so poor that I’m going to go hungry anytime soon, but when I know there’s going to be an event with free food involved, a voice in my head says “regardless of who you’re with and what you’re doing, you must attend”. So what have I done for free food?
*Attended Bergdorf Goodman’s Beauty Days. Men who wear lipstick, women who weigh 9 pounds, Mini Hamburgers, Hot Dogs and Cosmos, you guys!
*Pretended I was interested in joining college clubs. Introductory Meetings always included bribes of pizza. I still get mail from the Alumni-Parent Admission Committee. Sometimes there are repercussions to that free calzone.
*Took a granola bar from a stranger the other day because she was handing them out as a plea for people to join her church in my neighborhood. Sure she was a stranger but I ate it and I’m still here aren’t I?? *Shopped at Price Club/CostCo/BJs. Samples samples samples!
*Weddings weddings weddings!
*Brutally boring company wide office meetings means enticing us with sandwiches and assorted other treats. Pass the pesto pasta salad!
*Running the Corporate Challenge. I’d do it for the free Power Bar at the finish line, but we also get taken out for dinner! You might think running 3.5 miles in 90 degree weather with people I don’t like is a bit much for some eggplant parm and antipasto, but you are not me.

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