My life is like a really anal retentive Corona commercial

If someone asks me if I am uptight or laid back, I have no idea what to answer. Depends on the situation? I’m not afraid of obvious things like getting attacked while I’m walking alone at midnight, yet when I want tell my boss I’m taking a day off my stomach will be in knots. I don’t understand me sometimes.

If I am going somewhere and bringing someone with me, it is imperative that we leave early in order to give ourselves plenty of time to get there. If I am someone’s guest on an outing I don’t care how, when or if we ever get there, it’s not my gig so I can relax. But the stuff I invite people to is better and more important so that’s why we should hurry. My general outlook on life is almost too relaxed. I think everything happens for a reason and nothing should be taken seriously. Yeah, yeah, hippie blah blah. I KNOW, it grosses me out too.
The trouble is that in my HEAD I have a great outlook and think I am easygoing. However my body does not understand my head’s philosophy, which is why I have major diarrhea and no fingernails. (nice)

No matter how many times I tell myself to be calm, that this audition or interview is not the end all be all, my body still reacts as if I were about to meet Oprah and Jesus together and just ate three bowls of All-Bran. My being uptight is an involuntary behavior, like a heartbeat or breathing. I can’t control it or stop it, which makes wearing light colored cotton shirts or participating in the gymnastics portion of gym class really bad for someone who gets sweaty when they are anxious. I swear to you though, the whole time that is happening I am cursing my glands because I am aware of what’s going on and the laid back Liz is like, why so worked up, sister? Chalk up your hands and do it to it. Maybe some breathing exercises, relaxation tapes or prescription drugs might help me, but both sides of me agree that I am too stubborn to seek help. I actually thrive on pressure, despite the side effects. I have an audition today which is why this is on the brain, hopefully by arriving a half hour early for it I can go into the ladies room and blow dry my sweat stains before they even notice.

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