Archive for October, 2004

Masshole!

Reverse The Curse
How do I love thee, Massachusetts, Let me count the ways:

1. SOXSOXSOX!!!
2. “So don’t I”
3. Frappes
4. Aunt Liz? I think not, it’s Auntie Liz.
5. Great Woods. It will NEVAH be The Tweetah Centah
6. Newbury Comics
7. M.O.M. at Johdans Furnitcha
8. It’s not an IMAX, it’s the Omni Theatah!
9. Field trips to Old Sturbridge Village
10. The Veryfine Juice Factory Outlet. Cases of Papaya Punch for 4 dollahs!
11. John Kerry.
12. The Cape. Mmm, dinnah at Cookes in Mashpee!
13. Papa Ginos. Thin Crust Pizza, three kindsa cheese. In a class by itself.
14. Nancy Kerrigan and Paul Wylie, figyah skatah extraordinnayahs
15. Hahf the 1980 Miracle On Ice Olympic Hockey Team
16. Santarpios Pizza.
17. Dunkin. Freakin. Donuts.
18. Pahquet floohs.
19. Liz Walkah and Jack Williams
20. Every great city has at least one college. Worcestah has TEN.
21. I can walk like a penguin! I can make an ocean wave wave.
22. Bernie and Phyyyl. Quality Comfort and Price, that’s nice!
23. Pre-Hollywood Squares Tom Bergeron. People are Talking.
24. 128 is a pahhkin lot
25. I could go on and on and on and on.

Red Sox Haikus (Originally posted after the Yankees/Sox ALCS in 2004)

Pardon my language
But A-Rod;s a huge Gaywad.
What a game though, huh?

Bonus Haikus:

I don’t know much, but
I know I love you, David
Ortiz. – A. Neville.

Bellhorn! Your name is
redundant, dontcha think? But
I think you are cute.

How can Mueller sound
more like “Miller” than Millar
does? Who cares- They Won!