The perils of administrative assistance

I had my quarterly review last week at work. I am not getting fired, which reflects nicely on my ability to make IMing look like I’m doing real work. Sadly though, my company is in no danger of being downsized and I am not proactive enough to quit, so it looks like I am stuck here for a while.

Boss said that I am reliable, responsive and diligent. I wholeheartedly agree. Boss also said I should use my downtime more productively. This is where I take issue. If there are two sides to every story, my side is undoubtedly the one that has been mentally rehearsed many times over, because it eventually expects the question (and quite frankly is surprised it has not already been asked) “Exactly what are you doing right now?”

What Boss may see as laziness or a misuse of company time on my part, I see as a reward. A reward for being so diligent and efficient when it comes to the work I actually DO. I do not like to work, therefore I do it as quickly as possible so that it no longer exists. Out of sight, out of mind, on to Gmail, thats my company slogan.

Being an accountant means Boss is probably most cognizant of the fact that time is money. And he wants his money spent on things like data entry and Excel spreadsheet updates, not Buddy Lists and what E! Online thinks of Jen and Brad’s split. (SO sad though, right?) But if I was a slower worker, I would not even finish updating the petty cash books in time to know that rumor has it that Brad was seeing Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I don’t begrudge Boss for making a futile suggestion. I just wish he could see how I have made this job distinctly my own, I have turned it into a corporate onion comprised of many layers, only one of which is actual productivity in the workplace. The rest however, if he knew about them in detail, would make him cry.

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