Mr. Mucus

I recently decided that my new favorite commercial is for Mucinex. It’s an expectorant that helps clear the phlegm out of your lungs. Just the name expectorant makes me excited, like the best is yet to come. And what can you expect? Anthropomorphized phlegm from the 1920’s, they would have you believe.


Oh! Mr. Mucus! You old so and so! Start packing for the long trip…outta my lungs!

Mr. Mucus clogs you up somethin’ awful. I don’t know what the worst thing about Mr. Mucus is, the trail of slime he leaves after he has been expectorated, the fact that there’s a plug sticking out of his suitcase, or that his suitcase is so decorated and worn because Mr. Mucus is well-traveled. Or maybe it’s that he has a suitcase at all. Does he have frequent flier miles because he gets expectorated from so many people’s airways? Do people get uncomfortable sitting next to him in coach?

And I wonder, does Mr. Mucus visit his pal the nail fungus guy?

Whose wonderfully crazy, off beat mind was Mr. Mucus born out of? Because the hat and suspenders were a nice touch, whoever you are. Kudos for making me really believe that our olde timey Mr. Mucus might have left Annie at that orphanage all those years ago. Is the other half of her locket inside your suitcase? I guess we’ll never know. But thanks to Mucinex, I’m pretty sure the phlegm’l come out. Tomorrow.

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