I spelled my name wrong in an email and now I can’t NOT go by my misspelled name because I’m too chicken to correct the situation.
I work in accounts payable. In accounts payable, if bills go unpaid, the money collectors come a-callin’. So one day I got an email from “Julie” who was inquiring about status of a bill and I replied to her email and hurriedly signed it “Lis”. “Lis” could be short for Elizabeth. But it’s not how I spell my name. S and Z are close to each other on the computer, I could also have spelled it “Lid” or “Lix” so at least phonetically I sort of make sense. But I just had no idea I made this typo. Until “Julie” wrote back saying “Thanks for your help Lis!!”. Well. I assumed that would be my first and last contact with “Julie” so no big deal, why bother correcting this bit of silliness. Right?
Apparently we are really good at not paying our bills to “Julie”. I receive almost weekly emails from her, always addressed “Good Morning, Lis”, “Lis, quick question…”, “You’re a star, Lis!”. And every time, I cringe because I feel deceptive, having never corrected her and also stupid for not spelling my own name right in the first place.
Now that we have emailed like seven or eight times I feel like there is no way to ever correct “Julie”. I have dug a name hole and I can’t get out. I never sign my name to emails anymore, or if I do I go for a formal touch with “Best, Elizabeth”. I don’t know how much longer I can go with this deception. Even when I’m Liz I don’t sign things “Best,”. I am trying to be a different person so I never have to admit my wrongdoing! My life is now a screenplay written for Ben Stiller. Is that what I want? A life of uneasy hijinks that culminate in an even more uneasy climax filled with diarrhea and ferrets?
And poor “Julie”! I am playing her like a fiddle! I don’t mean to. It’s all because I am just too proud to admit my own lack of spellchecking. I blame Outlook. Stupid Windowz 2003.