Archive for June, 2005

Freestyle Love Gothamist

Independence Day Comedy


Uncabaret, Neutrino

Gothamist’s Rejection, Obsession

Sara Schaefer wears Calvin’s Klein’s Obsession


Comedy Slam

Un-de-FEET-ed. TOE-tally awesome.

I rarely check my website email inbox, and friends, today is the day I found out how much I regret that. My inbox was chock full of surprises, I had no idea that this whole time I had a treasure trove lurking behind Of all the things I received, I am adding to my current “Favorite Things” list that consists of Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens, the email I got from the webmaster of

I believe I brought it on myself when I mentioned in a post from long ago that I have an unusually large big toe. Nothing gross, and really more of an optical illusion than anything, as I had part of the nail cut off during my Ani-Difranco-listening-Nalgene-water-bottle-carrying-recurring-hangnail phase of college that I’m sure every girl here went through. So a smaller nail makes my toe look large and fleshy, the mere mention of which sent webmaster of taperedtoes into email overdrive.

Says webmaster “If you really have a huge big toe, send in a pic.”
And he further entices, as if my body can be bought, “We may even pay you for it! Thanks.”

Oh, ho ho! Listen here, flesh peddler! I will not sell my pride and womanly toe curves for any amount! Unless you have a grotto. Do you have a grotto, webmaster@taperedtoes? Because that could be cool. Are you the Hefner of Feet? Because then I could be one of your Ped-House Pets, like any of these ladies:

With Lindzee’s hot pink polish, she looks like the kind of girl I could have great pillowfights with!!



The ring proves Mama Pinky has been around the block a few times. I could learn things from this lady.

Witness Relocation Toe. The woman is an enigma, even to those of us closest to her. We don't even play Marco Polo with her in the Grotto pool.

And finally, Shannon, who everyone calls Cingular Toe. More toes in more places.