Archive for September, 2005

Plop plop fizz fizz

I looove Trader Joes. I love all forms of grocery shopping but Trader Joes is just heaven. Sometimes it’s vegan heaven, sometimes it’s prepared food heaven, and sometimes it’s just cheap new food experiment heaven. I will rent a car, bring a cooler to my parents’ house, and then go shopping at Trader Joes because I love it that much. So I was delighted to set sail for the good Trader’s lair last Saturday and pick up some foodstuffs. Looka yonder, in the refrigerated section, methinks I spy something that looks tasty atop my leafy greens! What could sound better than Trader Joes Creamy Low Fat Basil Salad Dressing? Big on taste, low on calories? I’m im-pesto!

To quote one hit wonders (plus one cover of Wild Horses that I could take or leave) The Sundays, here is where the story ends. Last night I was all set to make my healthy dinner salad and I grabbed my Trader Joes dressing from the fridge. In my estimation salad dressing, when opened, should not give off the fizzing pop sound that say, a Diet Coke with Lemon should. Nor should Creamy Basil Salad dressing ooze out of the top of the bottle with the profuseness of Veuve Cliquot on New Year’s Eve and the consistency of whatever it is that falls from the sky when you say “I don’t know”on You Can’t Do That on Television. Carbonated salad dressing? No, thanks. Thoroughly disappointed, I attempted to hold a dignified memorial for the rest of the salad dressing by pouring it down the drain but I’ll be damned if the stuff didn’t just keep oozing and multiplying like something that trickled out of a meteor in Creepshow. In the case of Liz Vs. Creamy Basil Salad dressing I find you to be a traitor, Joe.


Shiny Pants Gothamist

Tiny Ladies!

Stuck on You

I will be attending this:
(by the way, the first person author of the show info is not me, it is Six Feet Under Writer Jill Soloway)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005
9:00 PM
Tiny Ladies Extravaganza
From the good people who brought you Cupcake, Elizabeth Merrick and I present chapters from the book read by me plus Lili Taylor, Six Feet’s Lauren Ambrose, Molly Shannon, SNL’s Amy Poehler, Jodi Lennon and Jackie Hoffman. Music by Stickerbook. Fun will be had, books will be sold and signed.

Mo Pitkins
34 Avenue A

I got a copy of Jill Soloway’s new book
and it is hilario. It’s eerie when you read things you wish you had written or contain thoughts only you think you have thought. Her book is just like that. You should check out one of her other readings this week in NYC or Boston, my Red Sox loving friends. Sadly Stickerbook will not be taking their rainbow tourbus of delight to Boston, this is their only show.

As an aside, my own stickerbook had a lot of holograms and scratch and sniffs. I love anything that smells like fake popcorn. Yum. I would take weekly trips to the Acton sticker depot known as Party Papers Plus, supplier of all my adhesive needs, to buy new stickers and it was pretty competitive among the girls in my class to get nice ones that would make each other jealous. I loved my fuzzy Care Bear stickers and could easily spend a small fortune on oilies. They changed colors! I still dream about running my finger over my unicorn oily sticker and watching the green/black/purple toxic liquid delight me with its pretty swirls.

Adorable Kiwis in Gothamist


Haiku Review of The Brown Bunny with the Aid of Shel Silverstein’s Where The Sidewalk Ends

Sarah Cynthia
Sylvia Stout would not take
This crappy film out.

Cause it’s garbage, people! GAR. BAGE!