For six months now I have been stealing from the MTA. Back story? Glad you asked. At my last job I received a year long Unlimited Metrocard via the pre-tax TransitChek benefit. (They are pre-tax and also apparently also the English language visionaries who invented the “C before K except not really” rule of thumb in spelling.) If you don’t live in New York what this all means is I am granted access to the underground tunnels that smell like wee wee whenever I please for a whole year, provided I consent to a monthly deduction from my paycheck. When I quit the old job in July, despite the fact that I was no longer contributing money toward the card, it still worked. For six months! Way to buck the system Liz! By…continuing to use a card that just happened to fortunately keep working? Sure. This does not make me a thief!
(If anyone from the MTA happens to come across this, because lord knows you probably spend your time reading my blog instead of getting me places, I just want you to know that I wasn’t trying to take advantage, but if the same thing happened to you I am just sure you wouldn’t say anything either. Again, this does not make me a thief!)

So this morning my card was trying to tell me something. It was telling me to See Agent. So I Saw Agent. And agent told me my card was unreadable and now defunct. They caught on to me! They know my secrets! I figured this was the end of my thievery because how do you ask the MTA to provide you with a new card that you haven’t been paying for in the first place? Why you take a business envelope from the lovely and helpful agent and mail it in and see what happens. This might make me a thief!

It also might get me an extension on an already free Metrocard if it falls into an apathetic enough MTA employee’s hands so we’ll see. The reign of terror I have inflicted, but not really if you think about it, might be over except the thing is I made New Year resolution to be more proactive so my reign might not really be OVER over if things work out for me. So then the real lesson will be that I always win.

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