Freulein Maria reviews: We Used to Go Out

Last night Von Trapp gave me the night off – said he still felt bad about the pine cone incident at dinner and wanted me to take some “Maria Time” which was cool. I know, I KNOW I should still hate him for not changing my whistle call to “Since U Been Gone”, I mean I don’t even care if he downloads a ringtone and uses it to call me when he needs something, but I think he’s h-o-t HOT! Do-Re-Me so horny for the Captain, raaor!

Anyway, I toyed with the idea of making new outfits for the kids out of my duvet but I feel like lately all my sewing seems a little too much like a Project Runway challenge. Sister Margaretta made fun of me last year for jazzing up my habit with silk charmeuse like, “Oh look someone thinks she’s Austin Scarlett!” and I was like “Shut it, Wendy Pepper! I know you sings songs about me!”. Literally, she is toxic and totally contaminates our love for God and nature and stuff with her negativo attitudo. She and that bitch Baroness Schrader can both take a flying leap off a beautiful Austrian mountain top and make a hard landing in a crisp, stony brook that is very deep and very fatal, I dont care. Speaking of Project Runway, Santino has toootally grown on me! Who knew, right? Marta still hates him because he has yet to produce any outfits with a pink parasol, but that’s just a matter of personal style, I say. We are all entitled to our opinion as long as you respect others, that’s what I’ve been trying to instill in the children while we “watch what happens” on Bravo. That and don’t be a Nazi.

Am I getting off track or what? I actually have a point here. So, last night. I had the night off, right? And I saw We Used to Go Out at the UCB and I (emoticon hearted) it. I know, Chelsea is a long way from Salzburg, but somehow I managed. I sang a song and by the end I was in New York City. Have you not learned that when music is in your life, anything is possible? Don’t make me take a second role as a singing nanny to prove this point.

I laughed so hard during this show, I worried that I might pee in my homemade pants. Luckily I didn’t, and there were actually other audience members that were more distracting than old Maria and her snort of a laugh! Like the guy in the front row who looked like he was eating a stick of pepperoni.

Cured meat-eaters aside, the show was hilarious and at times the relationship stuff was a little too real for my “I deny my feelings for men who aren’t God” lifestyle. On my scale of reviews I give it 5 out of 6 Favorite Things, but only because I couldn’t find a picture of schnitzel with noodle. Stupid Google Image search!

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  • Comments (1)
    • dozibee
    • May 7th, 2006

    hihi, just wanted to share the fact that the whole ‘schnitzel with noodles’ thing is a very common misconception… was googling around to try n find a highly amusing sound of music pisstake…. and came across this… in austria you would get a lot of either evil or confused looks if u tried ordering schnitzel with noodles.. XD it doesnt happen… u eat them with rice or potato salad… NOT noodles XD they just used it in that horrid movie coz it rhymed.. XD

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