Haiku Reviews: Scaaaaaary Edition!

My Trivia Companion and I are headed back to Our Local Bar tonight to yet again test out our prizewinning wasted brain space. In preparation for a potential category entitled “Scary Movies We Thought Might be Good But Proved To Be Neither Good Nor Scary”, we’ve been doing a little research. Why is it so hard to find something legitimately scary? I rented Suspiria this week, so I’ll let you know if the Italians get it right. In the meantime, I present thee with Haiku Reviews of all the “scary” movies we have watched in the past month because we were on a “scary” movie kick that I really wish had been “scarier”.

Cube
Dumb Canadian
Cult classic – on the plus side
A guy gets, well, cubed.

Evil Dead 2
So bad it’s good, in
A severed-hand zombie filled
Cabin kinda way.

Cabin Fever
Kids are stupid when
Their flesh falls off. Listerine
On open sores? W(OW).

Saw
If you see Saw, you’ll
Notice the plot teeter tot-
ters from bad to worse.

White Noise
Neglectful dad opts
to watch static of dead folks
instead of his son.

Wait Until Dark
Audrey Hepburn is
Blind! The script mentions that ov-
er eight THOUSAND times!

dead2
saw
dark

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