Archive for June 1st, 2006

A Blogger Hardly

My cinema companion and I were discussing Richard Linklater the other day. While I haven’t seen Slacker, we both agreed the man hasn’t made many (or any) bad films…Dazed and Confused is entertaining on many many levels, Ben Affleck’s hair being the first level and it only gets better from there, and Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are maybe the most charming movies ever made. Waking Life was boring in parts but amazing in others. Bro has directorial range! So while I am not a sci-fi person and know nothing about Philip K. Dick (uh-oh! Did I just alienate my entire nerd readership? Sorry, nerds. I am nerdy in my own ways but not in the Douglas Adams/ Philip K. Dick/Isaac Asimov way), his new movie, A Scanner Darkly, looks pretty awesome. Visually anyway.


I love when faces look like topographical maps! Is that Winona or a map showing the elevation of Los Angeles?


But of course the best part of the movie (for me) is the title. There is so much I want to do with that title that my head is going to futuristically combust in an alternate dimension while I’m driving a floating car that turns into a suitcase! It just makes me think of all the things in my office that can be modified with adverbs, but not in a way that makes sense. More like, in a way that sounds like a direct translation of Spanish to English without rearranging the nouns being modified. From A Scanner Darkly to:
My Stapler Stolenly.
The Printer Jammedly.
A Phone List Outdatedly.
A Modem Blinkily.
A Fax Screechily.
A You Tube Video Quietly.
An Automatic Toilet Flush Untimely.
My Lunch Hour Solitarily.
A Mousepad Comfortably.
The Receptionist Sadly.
My Monitor Freezingly.
Vacation Approval Begrudgingly.
My Dignity Disappearingly.

I’m sorry I ruin everything, good readers. It’s my curse.