Nom de Plume

Perhaps it’s because I’m uncouth enough to dispose of my writing implements when they are no longer useful. Perhaps I am just of a lower caste and was not allowed in on this secret place that, upon entry, is realized to be mightier than a thousand swords. Whatever the reason, I am now privy to the information that there is a store in New York City called:

hospital

What goes on in such a place? I can only imagine…

(Fade out on reality)
(Fade in on…FOUNTAIN PEN HOSPITAL)

daddy

“*Cough* I been shot! Doc, I’m inking everywhere! You gotta help me! Oh God!”

doc

“Calm down, sir, just calm down. I’m applying pressure to the wound to stop the inking, you’re going to be fine. Just stay calm and tell me what happened.”

daddy

“It was like this, see. My wife. She caught me. I was runnin’ around bein’ stupid…I’m a man, doc. A man wit’ needs! So’s *cough* I was wit’ my secretary and we was in my offfffice…foolin’ arouuuund…and my wife. She caught us. She shot me and who knows what she did ta my secretary!”

doc

“She caught you with your nib..in someone else’s ink?”

daddy

“Yeah. Am I gonna live? Doc tell me! I gotta know!”

doc

“I’m gonna be honest, it’s not looking good.”

mom

“WHERE IS HE? Where is that nib-dipping, lying son-of-a-Bic?”

doc

“Ma’am! I’m going to have to ask you to step aside, this is highly unacceptable and your husband is in an extremely fragile state right now!”

mommy

“FRAGILE? Ha! That is a laugh and a half! I’ll tell you who’s fragile. ME! And my SON! This guy only thinks with his nib, never caring about anyone else. I’m not sad about what I did doc, and I want to relish the time he has left by watching him die! Ahhhhh HAHAHAHAHA!”

kiddo

“Hi Daddy!”

doc

“Ma’am, I understand that you’re upset but this is highly inappropriate, I’m going to have to ask that you and your son please remove yourselves from the ICU and wait outside.”

daddy

“Amber-Lou, you know yiz the only one for me. I just got caught up and one thing led to anothiz and I…I love y–”

…………..Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop……………

kiddo

“Daaaaaaaddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, nooooooo!!!!!!”

doc

“I’m sorry. We did all we could. He’s gone.”

chaplain

“I’m here to read the last rites. Sorry I’m so late, someone parked in my spot.”

THE END

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  • Comments (1)
    • MD
    • November 11th, 2006

    Haha, love it!

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