Poops of Grass

Granted: I am an inmate of a mental hospital; my keeper is watching me, he never lets me out of his sight; there’s a peephole in the door, and my keeper’s eye is the shade of brown that can never see through a blue-eyed type like me. —GŸnter Grass, The Tin Drum

This is the quote that faces me at work. Over the course of the past year, my office has undergone renovations to make the company seem cooler: every floor is color coded, my copy room is covered in astroturf, and we have “chat rooms” that are giant tents of plastic with words and famous quotes cut out to make us seem very literary. The chat rooms have names like “Hurston” and “Mishima” to make us seem not only literary but like, English majory. The chat room I sit near is named “Grass” which, honestly I thought was because it is green, not because the quote installed on it is by a man named Grass. I was not an English major.

The thing about the cut out words though is that, as anyone who has tried to cut letters out of paper knows, when you cut the holes out of say, lowercase e’s or g’s, the center part falls out. So an “e” might end up looking like an “o”. If you were to cut out the word “peep” it would end up looking like “poop”. Which is endlessly amusing to me.

poophole1

A closer look?
poop2

Just another way that the cosmos completely gets me. And don’t think I don’t love the fact that “poop hole” is followed 2 lines down with “shade of brown”.

Liz and her poop jokes: 1, People who take literature seriously: 0.

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    • MD
    • December 22nd, 2006

    I read your whole post and was mildly amused until I went back and read the poem, substituting poop for peep. Then I laugh, laugh, laughed, and thought, the cosmos *does* get you. What a weird poem.

    • Bryan
    • December 24th, 2006

    Best poop joke I’ve heard in a long time — and they’re very common in my house!

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