It ’snot what you think

I’ve been dealing with some illness-allergy thing lately and I don’t know what it is. It’s got elements of a head and chest cold and the only beverage I can drink is tea. Which is good because my mom just told me about some nutritionist who recommends drinking 5 cups of tea a day for better health. Which seems excessive, but seeing as I am currently drinking that much this week, I am for the first time ever doing exactly what my mother has recommended. See? I’m not that difficult a child. Of course if this particular nutritionist said the 5-cup-a-day thing on Oprah and Opes embraced it, it wouldn’t seem excessive at all and tea ceremonies a la Karate Kid Part II would be all the rage everywhere, right? Seriously. Tea would be the new The Secret. Then with the power of tea we could save people from Japanese hurricanes and reunite Mr. Miyagi with his father and his arch-nemesis, land developer Sato, and make the world a happy place. So what I mean is, if tea can do all that in for Daniel-san, tea will end the war in Iraq.

I’ve also been producing a good a decent amount of booger juice and can’t help but look in the tissue to take pride in what just came out of me. Again, now that Oprah has talked openly about poop and how she (and really, we all) look in the toilet to see what our bum-bums made, I would think phlegm should be discussed with as much ease and honesty. But looking in the tissue always makes me think of the old MTV commercial where a man behind a diner counter blows his nose and looks in his hanky and says “Hey I made an MTV logo! Wanna see it?..Well I didn’t want to show it to you anyway!” MTV totally got the 10-year-0ld me because that was funn-yyyy. That’s probably the very reason my parents didn’t want me watching MTV in the first place but if not for that and Remote Control, which validated all my Brady Bunch watching, I wouldn’t be the hilarious, sitcom-and-movie-referencing administrative assistant that I am. Off to let it out with some Kleenex!

And wouldn’t you know, Saturday really is let it out day….I know because I have my finger on the pulse of absorbent cleanup.
The time to Let It Out is Saturday, March 24th — 10 AM to 4 PM.
The place is Times Square, the NW corner of 45th Street and Broadway in front of the Marriott Marquis Hotel.
karate

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