If I Worked for the NY Post and was covering the Top Chef beat…

Rushdie, Crushed? Salman Might No Longer Sizzle For Top Chef Dish
Is it curtains for author Salman Rushdie and his fourth wife, the actress, chef and reality-show hostess Padma Lakshmi?

Late last week, a source overheard designer Diane von Furstenberg obsessing over the news that the luscious Ms. Lakshmi, 36, was set to drop the 59-year-old novelist, her husband of three years, like a heavy sack of unread best-sellers.

“I can’t believe she’s leaving him,” Ms. von Furstenberg kept saying, according to the source. The wrap-dress queen is a longtime friend of the couple and attended their wedding in April 2004, along with editor Tina Brown, comedian Steve Martin and assorted other famous guests.

Most troubling to Ms. von Furstenberg, apparently, was Ms. Lakshmi’s stated and not exactly literary reason for putting an end to the relationship with the Booker Prize winner: to focus on her big Bravo hit, Top Chef.

Okay, I watch Top Chef despite its hostesses who range from poor to negative poor. But I read that news above and it seemed to make sense, considering I never truly believed Padma and Salman were actually married. Plus, when Padma said (er, not so much “said” as breathily exhaled) the famous lame-ous catchphrase in the second to last episode to hunky, manly-man chef Sam “Please pack your knives an go”, her voice cracked and it was at that moment you knew that Sam was Padma’s personal chef and there was more than a little Quick Fire in this challenge. Seiously, I can’t stand this show, I don’t know why I keep watching and am talking about it months after it ended.

Wait! Yes, I do know why…Cause the end of Pad-Man means so many puns I can’t even stand it.

Diane Says: She Was The Von Furst to Know

Pad, See You!

See Ya, Salman…I’m Gonna Padma Resume With TV Gigs

She Lakshmi! She Really, Really Lakshmi..Well, Not Anymore

Indian Women Don’t Get Fatwa

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