Take a queue from me

Picture it. Brooklyn, 2007.

A young girl searches for something to do one evening and proposes that she and her beau watch a feature film together at home on the moving picture box. The beau suggests The Last King of Scotland, which was sent to the young girl through the video parcel service known as Netflix. “Oh my God, I got that movie delivered to me in May and it was sitting there for like three months and I sent it back last week and now you want to watch it?” the girl gently asked without judgement. To which the beau responded “Um, if you returned it, then why is it on the TV stand?”, to which she re-responded “Uh, no, it’s not, I took it and mailed it last week,” to which the beau re-re-responded “No, you didn’t,” and picked up the futuristic video disc and made his point.

It was at this moment that the young girl realized that the parcel she sent last week, while it had been placed in the Netflix sleeve labeled The Last King of Scotland was anything but said disc. Who knows what disc could have been sent off in it’s stead! Our heroine felt embarrassed by the error and phoned Netflix Customer Service immediately to rectify the situation. After explaining that she had mistakenly sent a disc from her own library (that neither she nor her beau could identify, since nothing appeared to be missing), the Netflix Customer Service Associate assured her that The Last King of Scotland had actually been successfully returned to them, and the Neflix DVD-Checker-Inner Team is quite thorough when it comes to that stuff. It all felt a little like an episode of Lost or Buffy or something because like, isn’t that considered paranormal activity, to have Forrest Whitaker DVD’s multiplying like that? So our heroine, feeling guilty for sending Netflix what was probably a blank CD-R or something, asked if she should just send back The Last King of Scotland in a new envelope, which was met with the alarming response of “No, because it has already been checked in, but we are so sorry for this inconvenience you’ve experienced that we’d like to offer you 25% off next month’s fees.”

NetflixCustomerServiceAgentSayWhaaaa?

So at this point, our heroine has a copy of a movie that she will probably still not watch anytime soon, plus a discount whose cash value is estimated at about $3.50, all for an error that was entirely her (or, let’s face it, probably her beau’s) fault. (Love you, beau!). Can any tale possibly end more happily ever after than that?

I didn’t think so.

2007

08/13

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