Top Chef and Puns, my two favorite things

Ok first of all, for those of you who watched the Top Chef finale last night, the taped segments interspersed with the live segments was just too weird, right? I mean, I get that it’s easier to have a live finale because if nobody knows the winners except for Padma and her scar, there is no secrecy clause that anyone has to sign and be tempted to blab. But the lengths they went to for continuity’s sake (Padma wore the same flamenco dancer dress during the Aspen meal as she wore in the live finale! Casey maintained her somber “I totally blew it” face from pre-taped segments till now!) were funny, and funnier still was that everytime the camera cut to “Live Padma” I expected her to call out this evening’s winning lottery numbers, such was the odd, atmospheric background noise and her almost-yelly voice volume. “Tonight’s winning chef is… the number twelve! Followed by eighteen! Aaaand this dish is underseasoned! Forty-two! Last ball is…this dish needs more acidity! Seven! And the bonus ball is…Cooking with soul.”

Can’t say I’m surprised the [SPOILER ALERT] Hung won, what with his knife skills and American dream speeches, but I really thought Dale might surprise us all in the end.

Also, yesterday’s Daily News headline about Britney’s kids being taken from her was UNFITNEY. Swoon! In honor of that, I’ve come up with a few more sitcommy punny titles.

The Food Network has cornered many markets and many chefs who cater to specific forms of cooking. Giada is Everyday Italian, Paula Deen is southern-crazy and Guy of Guy’s Big Bite is retro-peroxide-craptastic. But what of the lactose intolerant Latino community? Thankfully there’s one chef who can help, and his new show is No Whey, Jose.

Hey, who wants to watch a show about a divorced seismologist who fears human contact so much that he relocates himself to the world’s most remote and volatile earthquake epicenter in order to stop impending earthquakes before they hit? I know I sure do, and wouldn’t it be great if that show’s name was No One’s Fault But My Own. Because the other level to the show is all the voiceovers he does about why his marriage ended. Layers!

Is there anything Sharon Stone can’t do? Because she sure can host the heck out of an HGTV show about gardening. Specifically cultivating root vegetables. Who knew that after her ex-husband got half-eaten by a dragon, she’d develop such an interest in potatoes, I mean, what’s the connection? I sure don’t know but thank goodness for her passion, otherwise we wouldn’t have Tubers with One Stone to watch every week.

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