Thanks to the force that is Facebook (a force I resisted for years and only joined because my sister told me to and now she is never even on it), I’ve discovered (or perhaps invented) the world of Facebook Comedy. I find myself often saying to people “Oh man, you like PG Tips tea too? We should start a Facebook group!” You can see, clearly, how the comedy ensues with original thinking like that. (But it’s the best tea ever and if there isn’t a group for it, shame on you, Facebookers.) “You use Gas-X after eating Chipotle, too? Facebook group!” “Tell it to my WALL!” “I’m changing my religious views to the church of these meatballs! They are delicious!” You see where I’m going. Sometimes successful, sometimes not, but if there’s one thing I excel at, it’s making people cringe when I, you know, talk.
Today my status said something to the effect of “Vegan Carrot Soup is not a satisfying lunch. I’m going to need a cheeseburger in 10 minutes.” and then Kirk responded “Liz can haz cheeseburger?” and then I wrote “That joke is 14-carrot GOLD!” and there are about 10 different situations in there that I want to exploit and ruin.
First, the blog I’m going to start that’s called 14carrotgold.blogspot.com where it’s either pictures of bunnies standing in front of brick walls dressed as famous stand-up comedians or recipes that all involve carrots or pictures of bunnies cooking recipes with carrots in them.
Second, there’s the probably offensive LOLKatz site I’m going to start where instead of cats saying cute phonetic things, it will be pictures of old Jewish men saying things like “You should BE so lucky to have a cheezburger!” Trademark that.
Third, I really wanted to start a tumblr last week called BLOGojevich and chronicle the life and times of the Illinois governor, but clearly that was a topical and fleeting story that wouldn’t have made for a blog with any sort of shelf life. Not like this whoisliz blog right here, this guy is 100% preservatives. It’s not going anywhere. It even came with packets of silica that I may or may not have eaten.