Let me eat cake
As I’ve mentioned before, I enjoy watching Ace of Cakes for no other reason than the artistry it takes to paint fondant well and the ability of those lovable stoners to sculpt frosting in the shape of hamburgers and fries. It makes me happy to see the weird stuff people want made out of cake. The problem with the show, as is the problem with all food tv, is that when you can’t taste something yourself, then if it doesn’t look good, you lose faith in it. And you know what doesn’t look good to me? Dry-looking sponge cake with barely a coat of buttercream. Which is, of course, what you will be eating once you cut open the likeness of your pet llama that the Charm City folks created for you. As cool as it is to create a cake that is a work of art, what matters most to me is the taste. Which is why if there is ever any doubt in your mind where to buy me a cake, I’ll help you out by saying go to the Milk Bar.
I decided that for the birthday of the Foss, I would buy some desserts for him at the Momofuku Milk Bar. I’ve never even been to the regular Momofuku restaurants which are famous for their pork buns and bacon-y brussels sprouts and noodles, but after reading about pastry chef Christina Tosi, I got a wee bit obsessed yesterday with the Milk Bar. She makes cookies out of corn flakes, marshmallows and butterscotch chips, has a pie called Candy Bar Pie that is chocolate and peanut buttery and her cakes are literally a foot high. Also, it sounds like she has high fructose corn syrup in her veins because in some interviews I’ve read, she talks about how her diet is almost entirely sweets. I’m pretty obsessed with junk food too, although I can control it with the occasional salad or bowl of tofu stir-fry, but her sweets were the epitome of what 8-year-old me would have wanted to create.
I got us chocolate chip cake and Corn Flake-Marshmallow cookies and Candy Bar Pie and it’s impossible to pick a favorite but they were some of the best sweets I’ve ever had. If ever there was a place that recognized the harmonious and complementary way peanut butter, marshmallow, chocolate and caramel can co-exist, it’s the Momofuku Milk Bar. I’m pretty sure there would be peace in the Middle East if loads of this cake was operation dumbo-dropped over there. Hold the pork buns, obvs.
Once when I was living in the city during a college break, Becky came to visit and we walked the entire length of Bleecker Street to find Magnolia Bakery, which wouldn’t have been terrible had it not been 10 degrees out. All for one cupcake. Magnolia gets the frosting-to-cake ratio right, in my opinion, that’s the kind of sweet tooth I have , it’s not “too” sweet for me, it’s just right. The Milk Bar gets the ratio of everything right, and while it was a balmy 25 degrees last night, I’d go back every day if my heart could handle it.