Archive for January, 2010

Have we ever discussed my obsession with Jennifer Garner? This is irrelevant to pop culture currently because I don’t think she’s in anything right now, but I LOVE her. I love that her dog is named Martha Stewart, I love that she walks around Boston with Ben Affleck in matching City Sports tee shirts, and I love Alias so much it hurts. I still fantasize about a very cold, slightly evil Victor Garber telling his daughter Sydney Bristow that the reason he didn’t RSVP to her party is because “I don’t do Evites”. It’s funny ’cause it’s true!

I also love Jennifer so much that I’ve had the movie “The Kingdom” in my Netflix queue for two years and I saw “13 Going On 30” in the movie theater but man have I seen it like nine more times after that on cable. There’s a scene in “13 Going On 30” which, if you’ve lived under a rock devoid of cuteness and movie remakes, is just “Big” starring a woman, where chopstick-haired J-Garn realizes that the person she’s become is horrible and she’d rather be her nerdy 8th grade self again and no amount of Judy-Greer-as-sidekick will change her mind. All the while, Billy Joel’s “Vienna” plays in the background. People, I love this song and I think it was this movie that made me realize that. I’m currently listening to it at my desk which makes me just look like a sensible mom-type who enjoys clapping gently to the beat of adult contemporary music to passersby, but really, I know what’s up. This song has layers. Basically it’s the kind of song that spawns an a-ha moment about why certain musicians are so famous – I had this a-ha moment with the Rolling Stones a few years ago to “Miss You”, of all things. Is that song revered? Considered a one of their greats? I mean, when compared to the rest of their catalog? Maybe not, but you can see why people like them!

Anyway, I get easily affected by songs that should not be affecting depending on where I hear it or what kind of memory dust it kicks up. Most embarassingly it’s usually associated to a college a capella performance, but some songs will always remind me of a breakup, and occasionally I will remember playing something loud in the car and then get sad when I remember I don’t have a car any more. Anyway, enjoy Jennifer Garner’s near-tears performance and some of my good friend William Joel’s finest work.

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(500) Days of Bummer

I keep a mental list of things I would do if only the opportunity ever presented itself – things that are dangerous or crazy or unconventional, but only slightly so. When I was a kid I acted on this more often: What will happen if I ball up the entire roll of toilet  paper and flush it down the upstairs toilet? I probably wondered that for years before I actually decided to do it. You know what happens? Bad things. My poor mother.

Currently I’m wondering what would happen if you popped a helium balloon with a cigarette. It’s like a really small scale Hindenberg fantasy. Maybe Mythbusters can cover it.

I do this sometimes while I’m cooking to much more diabetes-inducing results. The answer to both “Can I bake cookie dough in a cake pan, layer ice cream on top if it and then add a layer of brownie to that to make a 3 layer awesome cake?” and “Can I layer peanut butter buckeye filling on top of homemade caramel and cover it in chocolate?” is yes. I’m more willing to try weird things if they are a) fatty and b) not going to set anyone on fire.

By the way, all these thoughts I’m putting down right now are things I was thinking about while watching (500) Days of Summer, which should tell you something about how I felt about that movie. I really wish Zooey Deschanel didn’t force us to hear her sing quite so much, especially in those cotton ads.

Also I think the filmmakers wanted that movie to speak for or at least be embraced by our generation, right? But just having protagonists who love good music and J.D. Salinger isn’t enough because find me a 30-year-old who doesn’t identify with those things, or at least did at one point.  John Hughes didn’t have to have his characters TALK about The Smiths to make us like them, he just used it in the background. I think I need to reward myself for watching that whole movie by having a kitchen adventure with some high fructose experimentation.