(500) Days of Bummer

I keep a mental list of things I would do if only the opportunity ever presented itself – things that are dangerous or crazy or unconventional, but only slightly so. When I was a kid I acted on this more often: What will happen if I ball up the entire roll of toilet  paper and flush it down the upstairs toilet? I probably wondered that for years before I actually decided to do it. You know what happens? Bad things. My poor mother.

Currently I’m wondering what would happen if you popped a helium balloon with a cigarette. It’s like a really small scale Hindenberg fantasy. Maybe Mythbusters can cover it.

I do this sometimes while I’m cooking to much more diabetes-inducing results. The answer to both “Can I bake cookie dough in a cake pan, layer ice cream on top if it and then add a layer of brownie to that to make a 3 layer awesome cake?” and “Can I layer peanut butter buckeye filling on top of homemade caramel and cover it in chocolate?” is yes. I’m more willing to try weird things if they are a) fatty and b) not going to set anyone on fire.

By the way, all these thoughts I’m putting down right now are things I was thinking about while watching (500) Days of Summer, which should tell you something about how I felt about that movie. I really wish Zooey Deschanel didn’t force us to hear her sing quite so much, especially in those cotton ads.

Also I think the filmmakers wanted that movie to speak for or at least be embraced by our generation, right? But just having protagonists who love good music and J.D. Salinger isn’t enough because find me a 30-year-old who doesn’t identify with those things, or at least did at one point.  John Hughes didn’t have to have his characters TALK about The Smiths to make us like them, he just used it in the background. I think I need to reward myself for watching that whole movie by having a kitchen adventure with some high fructose experimentation.

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    • Becky
    • January 17th, 2010

    If you remember anything from Mr. Rosen, it should be that helium is not flammable and that the Hindenberg was filled with hydrogen, which IS flammable. So your helium balloon will make a loud pop, when the cigarette bursts the balloon, but no fireball. Incidentally, when I bring my students to Mike’s classroom for a field trip each year, he uses the bunsen burner jet to blow a bubble and then we touch it with a glowing ember. MASSIVE FIREBALL! Silent, but deadly. And if you dissolve zinc in HCl (hydrochloric acid, Dummy), which produces hydrogen gas, and collect it in a balloon, it will blow the balloon up. And that, my friend, makes a crazy fireball with a loud bang. One day you can visit and he will do it for you, too!

    You’re welcome.

      • Liz
      • January 17th, 2010

      That was more information than I needed, but it was riveting nonetheless and I look forward to my very own field trips to burn things at Amherst High.

    • Cynthia
    • January 21st, 2010

    I have just rediscovered your blog (thanks gchat!) and I think you should know that this movie is the reason I got bangs this summer. There, I said it. That’s pretty much all I took away from it, but in my opinion a ten inch hair lop is quite a lot to take away from 2 hours of contrived nonsense. Am I right?

      • Liz
      • January 21st, 2010

      I do love the long dark bangs, but when coupled with contrived and awkward affected-ness, no thanks.

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