Before we get to the ethnic foods that can be made superior with the addition of savory brown sauce, let’s first just have a gander at what passed for pizza in 1950. If I were not so mild-mannered and well behaved, you might hear me wail, make fake vomit sounds and say the F word, as in, “What the F is that?” and “F me, that looks like the worst effing food I’ve ever seen!” and “Why the F does only one quarter of it have cheese on it? And such a sparse amount of cheese at that?” plus “Are those olives? Those are giant effing olives, they look like a herd of crocodile!” But I’m not crass and I might have children reading this, so I’ll refrain. I also don’t know what a bunch of crocodile are called. God, this pizza looks awful.