Just Like Honey
The American Honey Institute’s fake cross-stitched honey cookbook has so much going for it. In addition to it’s colorful cover, each new chapter shares a new cross-stitchy design and a delightful no-em. That’s my term for a poem that just shouldn’t exist. Like, say:
“With butter, egg and good honey
Your cake will moist and flaky be”
Mixed with the juices is good planning”
“Of all the cookies I have eaten
Those made with honey can’t be beaten”
“If you a happy cook would be
Use honey in your recipe”
Well now that’s just a copy editor’s nightmare. Unless it’s old timey English that was acceptable back when honey was first invented.
The flavor will your palate suit.”
I mean, I’m all for switching around verb placement out of necessity, but every time, honey people? It’s like translating things from English to Spanish, and then back to English. Side note, I’m currently reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and I feel like that book is translated in a similar way (SORRY, superfans!). It’s just very “Hold on there, my friend! Let me finish what I began telling you! This is quite a story of intrigue.”( I’ve taken to imagining Fred Armisen as the narrator doing his Danish Repertory Theater voice.)
To come there will be more honey
Just like me, a busy bee.