Make a game of where you place your napkin at mealtimes! Or if you’re like me, use the same paper towel for 3 days in a row!

Well this is fun! Figuring out which food groups your meal belon—ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

This is the most boring game I’ve ever not wanted to play. But, just as all cereal boxes from my childhood depicted, breakfast really proves to be much more detailed than I’ve ever experienced, what with all the milk, juice, toast, eggs, coffee and fruits you’re supposed to consume. (Seriously, is there any other image so fictional as one on the cereal box which showed a bowl of cereal of topped with strawberries, next to milk, juice, coffee and toast, accentuated by one spoonful emerging from the bowl with the most Elmer’s glue-like dribble of milk hanging off?)

It also makes me a little sad that in my entire lifetime, I’ve never set the table for lunch.

Before the four food groups and the food pyramid, there was this list of (mostly) enjoyable things to eat

I’m pretty upsetĀ  that we no longer live in an era where “Butter and Margarine” is a food group. Of course this is no surprise, considering that at that time, butter and cream were essential in preventing the deforming and weakening of the nation’s children.

I generally spend the most time with food groups 2, 3 and 4 myself, although admittedly I touch on 1 (Peanut Butter) and 7 (Potatoes) on occasion.

Well, the important thing is that you make enough for everyone. In town.

Sadly, American portion sizes have increased so much that the revised recipe output is “Serves 12”.

Flour Power a.k.a. A Lesson In Optical Illusions

This is a big piece of cake, huh? Oh wait. It’s even bigger as than I first thought.

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Prune Cream: The only dessert that tastes better going out than coming in!

Sometimes I buy a container of prunes and think “I like prunes!” and then after one serving I realize “Prunes are not all they’re cracked up to be!” and then the prunes get thrown away. Unfortunately I don’t think the tag line “Prunes – they’re just expensive garbage!” will be taken seriously by the people at Sunsweet, but truth in advertising and all…

Despite my mild tolerance for prunes, I’m not sure I can understand this concept of Prune Cream. It sounds like dirty slang until you realize it’s a dessert, which makes it worse. How dare you cookbook people sully the good name of dessert by bringing prunes into the mix? Dessert is for things like chocolate, peanut butter and high fructose corn syrup. Not Prune Cream. But you can make it in a jiffy so it’s got that going for it.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and it’s sad when poems end up not rhyming very well and it takes you a second to realize the pattern is still there, but you just have to look for it. And so are you.

A whole new kind of treat-y

There are probably three things that children and adults agree with.

1. The Muppets are hilarious.

2. iPod Touches are a great way to pass the time.

3. Cake and ice cream can really make a party.

Since the first two items on that list are more recent developments, relatively speaking, one gathers that prior to the 1970s, cake and ice cream’s party-making ability was the only thing that could ever bridge the generation gap.