Archive for October, 2010

Just Like Honey


The American Honey Institute’s fake cross-stitched honey cookbook has so much going for it. In addition to it’s colorful cover, each new chapter shares a new cross-stitchy design and a delightful no-em. That’s my term for a poem that just shouldn’t exist. Like, say:

“With butter, egg and good honey

Your cake will moist and flaky be”

Sure.

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Make a game of where you place your napkin at mealtimes! Or if you’re like me, use the same paper towel for 3 days in a row!

Well this is fun! Figuring out which food groups your meal belon—ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

This is the most boring game I’ve ever not wanted to play. But, just as all cereal boxes from my childhood depicted, breakfast really proves to be much more detailed than I’ve ever experienced, what with all the milk, juice, toast, eggs, coffee and fruits you’re supposed to consume. (Seriously, is there any other image so fictional as one on the cereal box which showed a bowl of cereal of topped with strawberries, next to milk, juice, coffee and toast, accentuated by one spoonful emerging from the bowl with the most Elmer’s glue-like dribble of milk hanging off?)

It also makes me a little sad that in my entire lifetime, I’ve never set the table for lunch.

Before the four food groups and the food pyramid, there was this list of (mostly) enjoyable things to eat

I’m pretty upsetĀ  that we no longer live in an era where “Butter and Margarine” is a food group. Of course this is no surprise, considering that at that time, butter and cream were essential in preventing the deforming and weakening of the nation’s children.

I generally spend the most time with food groups 2, 3 and 4 myself, although admittedly I touch on 1 (Peanut Butter) and 7 (Potatoes) on occasion.